neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
