one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
