i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
