I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
