so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
