Screwed.edu
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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