i permit you to call me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
