so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
