I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
