think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
