I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
