No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
