a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
