everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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