so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
