You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
