dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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