i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
