I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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