That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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