Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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