Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
