she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
