You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Panties = found
Randomize
