PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
