I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
