I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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