You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
