I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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