i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
