now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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