She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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