called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
