We got so high we made milksteak
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
