just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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