Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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