She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
