I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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