dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
