I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
