we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
