Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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