Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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