i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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