This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
