Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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