oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
