Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
