people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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