You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
