i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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