I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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